Everyone Is Hurting!

It has been quite a trying week here at Good Shepherd Farm.We got up late yesterday morning because we had entered a Karaoke contest the night before, in Tracy. I was in place for 3rd, because of singing in a previous qualifying round. But there were REALLY AWESOME singers there, and I did not make the cut. That is fine with me, because we had a great time listening to the singers and visiting with friends Blanche and Paulette. Aunt Lorraine came along as well, thus getting her out of the house for a while. Lorraine fell last Monday night and got hurt. Lorraine just turned 88 years old this past week. She was coming out of the bathroom and she got her foot hooked in the hallway runner rug and down she went. Her leg and pelvis is hurting her pretty bad, and I am afraid that she cracked something again. So, there will be a trip to the doctor for Lorraine this coming week!!!Anyway, when we finally crawled out of bed yesterday, Don decided that we were going to move some of those big round hay bales to another place here on the farm. They weigh about 1,000 pounds each. My job is to stand behind the bale as he is lifting it with the bucket on the tractor (it is Arnie’s big tractor, and it does not have forks). I get my back up against the bale and push with all my might so that the bale does not just roll out and bounce ahead of the bucket, thus causing us to starting all over again. Well, it is really hard on my back. I have 2-ruptured discs, and 1 or 2 that are bulging. I have deteriorating discs in my back and I am limited as to what I can do. So, during this whole operation, Don got one bale started up in the bucket and it was in such an awkward place that the bale came out and started rolling and pushing me to the ground. When I landed, I was half-twisted and flipped over and started to “belly- crawl” as fast as I could. The bale did miss me (praise the Lord) except for my left leg, which I managed to pull out while crawling. But I lost my shoes in the process and twisted my back pretty bad. Didn’t find the shoes ‘till later on near evening. After this incident, I decided to go off and pick a bushel of tomatoes and YET ANOTHER bunch of summer squash. We will go no further on that subject, thank you!Towards evening Don took the borrowed tractor back to Arnie’s house and I followed him in the Toyota so I could bring him home again. We were sitting in the living room visiting and watching the Vikings on television (they eventually lost – as usual), and Don looked out the window and exclaimed, “The neighbors steer is in your yard, right by the bay window!” I thought he was just joking, and stood up and- holy cow! - There stood the largest bovine I have ever seen in my life! I swear it to you! He was huge and RED, and had little horn buds on his enormous head.I still do not know why, but for some reason I got up and ran outside, and and started calling to him and talking to him. Well, he threw up his head, and started running at me! And I tore around the Toyota and got inside and slammed the door, just as he made it around the car - and started licking my window.Weird! I thought, and rolled my window down a little bit. He stuck his tongue in the window and uncoiled it, and tried to lick me. “Well” I thought, “he’s kinda friendly after all.” So I rolled the window down some more and petted him. He seemed to really like that and put his head down further so I could scratch his head. So then I decided that maybe he would follow me if I started up the car and backed out the driveway and tried to ‘lead’ him back home again. ‘Home’ was down to the corner, and just down the next road to the right, maybe ¼ of a mile away.So I backed out and started heading out the driveway, and ‘Big Red’ thought this was a real fun game and started sort of bucking and bouncing around, and then he got behind the Toyota and started PUSHING ME DOWN THE ROAD!Holy Cow!After a few false starts, and Arnie and Don getting in Arnie's pickup and driving ahead of me, we managed to lead ‘Red’ home again. Then the fun started. He did not want to go back to his pen, and Don went over beside the pen and started calling to him. But (as we find out later) ‘Red’ thinks that he is a great big dog, and he decided at this point that he wanted to ‘play’ with Don in order to avoid going into his pen. He went over to Don and he started out by pushing Don against the fence with his head, but suddenly, he started ramming him. And he rammed Don right down into the ground. (Later, Don stated that he thought that his life was over at that point.) I was parking the Toyota, and jumping out and running towards him. And then, everything started happening in slow motion. I just could not get my legs going fast enough. I noted that Arnie was blowing the horn on his pickup and charging that Chevy right towards the beast. Don was pulling himself up on the bars of the pen, and trying to lift himself, only to be bashed into the ground again. The beast was still pummeling him, but strangely enough, backed off for a few seconds. Don managed to take that opportunity to pull himself upright, and make another attempt to pull himself up the fence. He started pulling his legs up in order to climb the fence (sometimes he cannot lift his legs, due to his paralysis – he has to manually ‘lift them’ with his hands) and he got halfway up and the steer again rammed his head into Don’s legs, crushing them and pinning him against the fence. By this time I had managed to reach them and started screaming at the beast and charging towards him. And Don was screaming, “Stay away! Stay away!” And I climbed the fence and started swatting at the steer’s head and continued yelling, and finally he allowed Don to climb up the fence and get over to the backside where I was.Meanwhile, Arnie's wife had called the owner of the steer on his cell phone, and after an eternity (after maybe 40 minutes of trying to convince ‘Red’ to go back into his pen) the owner, Barry, arrived. It took him awhile to get Big Red – actually, his name is CHESTER – back into his pen, and then we all talked for a while before everyone left to go home. It turns out that CHESTER weighs in the neighborhood of 2,500 pounds. Last time he was weighed, he was 'only' 2,250, but he has ‘grown’ since then.We got home, I pulled Don’s pants, socks, and t-shirt off and got his pajama tops on, and stuck an ice bag against his leg, gave him a Vicodin and a muscle relaxer and some warm supper, and went outside and cried for awhile. And then, I took a muscle relaxer too, for my own back. Don fell asleep in the recliner. And this morning (it is after 11:30) he is still sleeping peacefully. I would well imagine that he will be very sore today. Last night he told me that he once rolled a truck 1-½ times, and he felt like it had happened all over again. I am sorry that I do not have a picture of Chester at this time, but I will include one in a future post. He is truly the largest steer that I have ever seen in my life. And I thank GOD that Don managed to live throughout the whole ordeal. He seems to have more than nine lives. I just hope that, one of these days, his luck does not run out. So keep praying for Don – he really seems to need it.

Letter To The Dog

I have some wonderful friends in Wisconsin. I did not meet them here in the United States: I met them in London while we were doing a tour of England, Wales, Scotland, and Ireland. What a wonderful trip! And I have been blessed to meet such wonderful friends!

Laurel seems to share my twisted sense of humor over certain things, one of them being our pets. Here is a 'letter' that she sent to me this morning. It is so cute and shares my sentiments exactly, so I wanted to share it with all of you:

TAPE THIS LOW ON THE REFRIGERATOR DOOR

Dear Dogs,

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm!

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, bark, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog’s butt. Rather than the other way around. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it 'fur'niture.)

3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: In many ways, dogs are better than kids because they:

1. Eat less

2. Don't ask for money all the time

3. Are easier to train

4. Normally come when called

5. Never ask to drive the car

6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends

7. Don't smoke or drink

8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions

9. Don't want to wear your clothes

10. Don't need a 'gazillion' dollars for college

And finally,

11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

Sasha and Jeremiah, 'looking pretty' on mom's couch at Christmas time.

It Will Never Be Quite The Same

As many of you know, the Minnesota Renaissance Festival is an event that I attend each and every year. I have been attending since the mid-seventies, and in that time, I have only missed 2 years. Ren Fest is in my blood - it is a part of me. I have worked there, and loved every minute. It is my own personal "Brigadoon." It appears for only a short time every year (August thru Sept, 7 weekends, including Labor Day), and then disappears again... vanishes, into the mist. And the very first show that I attend, each and every year, is the comedy duo of 'Puke and Snot.' Today – August 12, 2008 – I received some very sad news. Yesterday, Monday August 11, 2008, 'Snot' (aka: Joe Kudla, of northeast Minneapolis) apparently died of a heart attack while at home. He was 57 years old. Ren Fest begins the 2008 season this coming Saturday.

I have been watching Puke and Snot since the mid-seventies. I can remember watching their show when Hubert Humphrey was touring the Ren Fest grounds. My brother shook Senator Humphrey’s hand! Every year, for over 30 years, I sat in the stands watching as some lucky lady received “the rose” during their show. But three years ago, I was the one that got that rose! I have carefully dried it, and that rose will go into my casket with me when I die. I made my family swear to it!! It was a most memorable day, one that I will never forget as long as I live. (I might add here that my daughter went to see the show all by herself one year, and she got that rose on her very first try!!! Brat! ;)

I will take my mother to the Renaissance Festival again this year, along with my daughter and my very good friend, Kenny Schmitt. He may be what some folks call 'handicapped,' but he is a lot smarter than many people I know that supposedly are 'normal.' And the four of us will go to all the familiar booths for all the familiar food (spinach pie, oh! to die for!!) and all the familiar items. But it will never be quite the same, without the familiar face of one of the funniest men we've ever known.

Thanks for all the good memories, dear friend...May you rest in peace.

Mom, me, and Melissa, 2007 MN Renaissance Festival

Joe Kudla as his character 'Snot' onstage, 2007 (White shirt)

Mom, Melissa, Kenny, Dan (Don's son), and Don

Kenny and the Scottish tortoise

Mom and Kenny beneath an archway of branches. I want to make one of these!